I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sorry my hands just texted you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
