there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let's get the cat blown out
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
