she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
