after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
