So drunk its hurt
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
