But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
