she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
