so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
