If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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