I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
