I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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