He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
