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now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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