Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
