there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
