Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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