I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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