we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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