I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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