I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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