I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
