stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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