She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
