apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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