Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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