Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
