Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
