Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
