Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
