the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
