You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
