Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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