Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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