We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
