I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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