Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm bleeding and have questions
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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