I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
