it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
