you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
