He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My feet surprised me
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