He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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