Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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