I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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