have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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