Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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