Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
