in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Less talking, more tequila
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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