But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
