so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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