They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
