Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
