Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
