Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
