So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
