Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
