they need to just BURY HIM!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
