Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Operation Purity has been aborted
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
