the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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