i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
