Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
