i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
